Knob's Harware Chapter One

Gam Moody took a left and started up the hill towards Knobs Hardware. Damn lieutenant woke him up hollering something about garden sheds and a murder. Boy needs to settle down, Gam thought as he lit a cigarette, this type of stuff didn’t happen in Rockland Maine, and when it did it pretty much solved itself. Just need us boys around to slap on the cuffs at the end of the week when the guilty party would show up at the department sobbing and smelling of coffee brandy.

Pulling into the parking lot he saw the group of cruisers gathered around the sheds on display. Gam parked and began fishing around for a lighter when there was a tap at the window.

"Detective Moody, good thing you got here so fast, looks like we have a code seventeen here!", exclaimed Lt. ---------

"A what?" said Moody sounding annoyed.

"A code seventeen sir.

"And what in the hell is a code seventeen?"

" A homicide sir"

"Whatever," Gam got out of his car and looked around, He lit his eighth cigarette since waking up an hour ago. "Where the hell is Knob. What’s he got to say about it?"

"He said he had a couple of important teleconferences scheduled for this morning and he’d be out as soon as he could."

"Boolshit," Same old Knob Moody thought, "he’s probably in there right now calling his lawyer to make sure this won’t cost him anything, and calling all around town to figure out how he can make money on it. By noon he’ll probably be selling ‘I made a killing at Knob’s’ t-shirts. Go get his ass out here."

"Here he comes now sir"

Striding thru the main door at the other end of the parking lot was Knob himself, all 400 pounds of him. Moody new Knob from around town, and thru several professional encounters.

Once Moody was in the area and responded to calls from horrified parents attending a graduation ceremony for the kindergarten class. Moody arrived to see a jovial Knob stationed at the edge of the auditorium beside an old fashioned popcorn cart. He was handing out popcorn and having the children help themselves from a box of promotional material imprinted "Courtesy of Knobs Hardware". Aprons, hats, and razor sharp utility knives. Moody shut him down, and helped himself to some popcorn. Since then he must have heard of at least a dozen stupid Knob promotions being shut down. The latest involved heavy fines when Knob sent a crew out in the harbor to re-do the white lighthouse in bright multi colors for a paint sale he was having.

Mostly though, Knob was known for what wasn’t known about him. He showed up in town five years or so ago, bought a good chunk of property at the edge of town and built Knob’s Hardware. It took the locals a while to catch on that he sold more than just knobs, but they slowly came round, and since the town had started to go more upscale catering to wealthy tourists, business had been doing ok. That didn’t slow down the rumors and speculation about where all Knobs money came from. The general consensus was something about a European uncle who stole cars and sent knob the money. But Moody had even heard that it was Knob sending the money to the uncle who sent him the car parts. Of all the different stories, everyone seemed to agree that Knob had ruined the look of the north end of town, but he did seem to have the best prices.

Knob was checking over the outdoor displays at the front of the store. He didn’t appear in any hurry to make his way over to them.

"Son of a bitch wants us to call to him," Moody muttered, "you better tell me what this is all about before he gets here."

"Well, sir we have a young male body in the shed, his hands were attached to the rafters with zip ties. One of our boys recognized him as the boy down the street from him, eighteen years old, had been working for Knob this summer. He appears to have been beaten to death with a piece of oak that we found on the floor of the shed."

"What, you have the weapon"?

"Apparently sir. It is decorative oak, like a window molding or some such"

"So what are we doing here, check the wood for prints, arrest somebody and maybe we don’t have to talk to this buffalo".

Knob had been throwing backwards glances at them while he straightened a display of yard gnomes gathered around a toilet that had flowers planted in it. Finally giving up he walked over to them.

"Moody! How’s it going, what’s up. Hope you guys have this cleaned up already, I open up in about half an hour."

Moody noticed that people had begun to gather in the area, employees showing up for work.

Suddenly there was a screech of tires, everyone turned to see an old yellow gremlin hop over the parking lot island and head back down the hill.

"That must be our man!" shouted the Lt.

"Now just hold on a minute.." started Moody, but he was interrupted by the horrible sound of a crash. The Lt. And most of the uniformed officers took off on foot down the hill. Knob and the store employees followed.

"Boy needs a kick in the pants if he thinks this guy killed someone and then shows up the next day with this kind of a half time act". Moody said to the air as he reluctantly made his way after them.

At the bottom of the hill he saw the yellow gremlin had crashed into a sliver BMW convertible. A woman with long flowing blue gray hair had gotten out of the BMW and was yelling at the driver of the gremlin. The hatch of the gremlin had popped open; magazines, paper, and beer cans had gone everywhere.

Moody walked over beside Knob who was all worked up, but didn’t know what to do with himself. "That’s Mickey our electrical guy" Knob said pointing to the driver of the gremlin, a little man who had suffered a bloody nose in the crash. " does this mean he’s the killer? That’s Evelyn our installation coordinator he hit. Hey how are those new cabinets working out for you?"

"Dog pissed on them." Moody said pushing past the people in front of him so he could hear what was going on.

"Pissed on them?"

"Before I assembled them, he’s a male dog so you bring something new in the house and he’s got to cock it."

"You stupid, stupid little man!" the woman, Evelyn was shouting at the man who stood looking like a caged animal, eyes wildly moving around while he tried to stop his nose bleed. All the while the Lt. Was asking official sounding questions, but having no effect on defusing the situation.

"You horrible little wretch and that crap wagon you drive!." Evelyn lunged forward at him, but was thwarted by one of the uniform cops.

"Oh my lord!," It was one of the employees who had begun picking up all the trash that had spilled from the gremlin, "these are all naked women!" She held up a magazine.

"You filthy little troll!," This time the cop wasn’t able to block the kick that connected with Mickey’s knee. Micky crumpled, and it took another cop to help hold her back as she went for another kick.

"All-right, all-right," Knob suddenly stepped forward, "everything fine, you two kids just exchange information and it’ll all be fine."

"There’s no way this little weasel has enough insurance for this, I want him beaten, I want him mowing my lawn for the rest of his life!"

"Look, calm down just get your insurance card, right guys?" Knob directed this to the police who were now just watching in stunned silence. "Mickey, where’s your insurance, in the glove box?"

"No, wait I’ll get it" said Mickey, still clutching his leg on the ground. Knob however had already opened the car door.

"What the hell is this?"Knob hauled out a cardboard case bearing a label he knew well. It was filled with circuit breakers. "These belong to the store don’t they you son of a bitch"

"Yes" wailed Mickey who had suddenly broke down crying "Yes I did it I took them"

"Stealing from me, you, that’s my profit right there, see this everyone, Gam you throw the book at this guy, everyone see this guy right here is why no one got a bonus this year, throw the book at him. This is profit right here, take him down town"

Mickey stopped crying, and Evelyn stopped shouting. "We are downtown" Evelyn said.

"Yeah, we are downtown" Mickey repeated.

"You shut up!" Evelyn gave him a sharp kick in the ribs, and mickey fell back down sobbing.

Suddenly the woman picking up the trash let out a scream. An officer rushed to where she was standing and found her holding a handful of snapshots. Most of them of herself bending and sitting in a short skirt, some blurry one had apparently been taken in the ladies room.

With this discovery Gam lit another cigarette, shrugged , and began walking back up the hill. Passing by the garden sheds he stopped to talk to the officer who remained behind.

Did you want to investigate the crime scene now", asked the cop

"Might as well", said Moody and he stuck his head in the shed for a minute, "all-right, cut him down" Moody turned back towards store entrance.

This whole thing will work itself out by the end of the week he thought, and tossed his cigarette as he entered the building. There was a thud in the shed behind him.

Moody shrugged again and walked on.